Viet Nam Adoptive Family Interviews : An Introduction

If your child bonded quickly to one parent over the other (in a two parent home,) how did you encourage bonding with the other parent?

Christina - Zeeb bonded more easily to my husband, I think maybe because he had been so attached to his foster mother and sister. Also my husband didn’t get as stressed by things and I think Zeeb sensed that. Once we got home and my husband went back to work, Zeeb and I built our own bond… just being together all day every day did the trick.

The Mynes Family - When we were still in Viet Nam Leland did quickly bond with Chris. I though it was because I probably looked so different to him (nothing like his care giver). I walked up and down the hallways and stairs humming and singing holding him close to me constantly he eventually got comfortable to me. Now Leland is still very attached to me, sometimes he doesn’t get to see Chris for a day or two because of the long hours he works at his job. Chris will bond with Leland by just having the two of them have extra special daddy/Leland time for the whole day (usually while I’m working.) They’ll play outside; go for a ride in Chris’s truck to the store, read books…


If you had another child(ren) at home, did the siblings (new and old) bond with each other quickly, or did it take some time?

Christina - I was amazed at how quickly the kids bonded to each other. R~ liked playing with Zeeb and being the big sister, but she did get jealous of the attention he got and regressed a little bit. My older daughter K (11 at the time) was amazing – she was like a little mom with him and he just ate it up. She was the first one he said “I love you” to. My older son A~ was a little uncertain about Zeeb because he would go into A~’s room and take apart his legos or make other messes. We let A~ take his time and allowed him to keep Zeeb away from his special toys and over time A~ decided it wasn’t so bad and there were a lot of fun things they could do together. Now A~ will often tell me how cute he thinks Zeeb is and they play Duplo legos or trains together.

Next: "The Power of Time"

Related Reading:
Life With Ella : Momma's Girl
How to Build Healthy Attachment with Adopted Children
Attachment Tips and Resources

photo credit