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Choosing an adoption agency can be extremely stressful. It is an emotional and uncertain time in your life, and I want to help you lower your blinders and make decisions with your head; not just your heart.
First off, it is very important to find out an agency’s policies regarding what will happen if you change your mind once you’ve signed on with them. Many agencies state that the amount of money that will be refunded if you decide to leave them depends on which step of their adoption process you are in. Red flags may not be raised until you are months into your adoption with an agency, so please take the time to find out this information.
Here are some red flags:
- Your agency forbids you posting on internet listservs/email groups. What are they afraid of you saying or finding out?
- You are promised a very young baby.
- Your agency does not provide you with/doesn’t have your child’s history prior to arriving at the baby center.
- You are promised a very short wait time.
- Their fees are significantly lower/higher than the other agencies you have contacted.
- You are asked to bring cash to Viet Nam for anything other than your travel and legitimate fees.
- The agency will not disclose the name/information of their staff members or facilitator in Viet Nam. This person/people will be your lifeline while you are in country. You are entitled to have their name(s), history with the agency and qualifications.
- Your agency has umbrella-ed on under another agency. Please only work with agencies that are licensed by the Vietnamese government.
- You have read horror stories about your agency’s work in their programs in other countries. Just because their Viet Nam program is free of complaints does not mean you should relax. Pay attention to negative responses from families who have worked with your agency in any of their programs.
- You feel rushed, cajoled or uncomfortable during any part of the adoption process.
It may sound obvious, but you really need to follow your gut on many of these issues. If something doesn’t feel right, there’s a good chance that it’s not. I know how hard it is to wait for your child, but try not to let that cloud your good judgment. It’s more important to be a part of an ethical adoption process than to bring home the youngest child in the shortest amount of time.
Photo by: Ernest von Rosen, www.amgmedia.com
“It’s more important to be a part of an ethical adoption process than to bring home the youngest child in the shortest amount of time.”
Thank you for stating what SHOULD be obvious, but isn’t!!!