Well we had our home visit with our social worker for our home study update this past weekend and it went really well. It was nice to see her again (B did our first home study and Ella’s post placement visit) and nice to get some affirmation about Ella’s growth and adjustment. Although she wasn’t there to check on Ella per se, she still let us know that she was happy with what she saw. This was especially true when Ella would play with her from a bit of a distance, but not hold her hand or get too close.

It was a very relaxed, pretty informal meeting. Before we really started she told us that we were already approved and this was a formality and a chance for us to ask questions and go over some things. She likes to prepare families for the worst and get them thinking about what the future may hold. Since Ella’s such an “easy” baby, we joked about what we might be in store for!

We discussed whether or not it was a good idea to bring Ella with us when we travel to adopt our next child. Our social worker felt it was best that we left her home and her points were very well taken. The living situation that we’re in now, with an extended circle of family would provide Ella with the same routine and attention that she is used to, just without mommy and daddy. She advised that if we do decide to travel without her to start letting grandma give baths, put her to bed, etc. early on so Ella gets used to that.

Part of why B felt strongly about traveling alone was so that we could foster attachment between the three of us (me, dad and new baby) during our time in Viet Nam that would not necessarily be as easy to do with a clingy, jealous, jet lagged toddler. She made excellent points and although I still can’t admit to myself that I think she’s right, I’m starting to get there. The mere thought of being without Ella for that long is excruciating, but I know she would be fine. She would probably be happier here than being schlepped around Viet Nam with us. We’ll see…

We also talked about the fact that we are open to a child with minor special needs. B felt that we could certainly handle a child with some special needs, but she cautioned us to consider Ella in the mix as well. She felt that adopting a special needs child could make a significant impact on Ella’s life. We weren’t quite sure how to word it on our home study report, so I have an email out to our agency asking for advice. If anyone else has considered adopting a special needs child from Viet Nam and wouldn’t mind sharing how it was worded on the home study, I would appreciate hearing about it.

So now we wait for the report to be done, we’ll proof it, our agency will proof it and then we’ll be good to go. This step was nowhere near as stressful as it was the first time, thank goodness! I’ll keep you all updated as we trudge along.

photo credit

More Reading:
Home Study Office Visit Completed!
Our Home Study Update
We're Adopting Again!