Today's post goes hand in hand with my recent post about spending some time preparing your home during your wait between referral and travel. However, nesting is an interesting creature and I felt it deserved its very own little spotlight.



The term “nesting” is most often used in relation to pregnant women who nest, or prepare their home for their babies while still in utero. I know first hand that nesting applies to all parents expecting a child, and as adoptive parents we deserve to revel in the preparatory nesting as much as the next person. Bird mommies and daddies prepare their nest for their new hatchlings as a survival mechanism as well as a means of comfort. For me, nesting was all about spending time preparing for my child whom I already loved and could not hold because we were on different continents.

Washing and organizing (and reorganizing) Ella’s clothes and belongings, baby proofing the house, arranging her room, staring at all the baby gear that would somehow incredulously be used on *my* baby was amazing. It all helped me feel more connected to her; more like her mom. Although I was unable to care for her in person, at least I could get ready and have all of her things prepared for when we finally were able to meet and start our lives together.

I still enjoy taking out next season’s clothes and packing up last seasons’. It still strikes me as poignant that I was doing the same exact thing while she lay in her caregivers’ arms in Viet Nam and I readied myself and our home for her. Nesting for an adoptive parent is a means of connection. While you wait, you will no doubt be filled with anxieties and fears. Nesting can help to calm your nerves, even if only temporarily. You will feel productive and as if you have accomplished something.

Taking the time to enjoy your nesting stage can almost seem like a guilty pleasure, but it’s one that waiting parents deserve. Being able to do something for your child who you are longing to hold and see face to face will bring you satisfaction, and it can be a welcome escape from the stresses of waiting to travel.

Faith over at the Hoping to Adopt blog has written a wonderful series all about surviving the wait. Her very helpful information can be found here.

photo credit

More Reading:
Older Child Adoption: What's Different?
Adoption ABC's - Wait
Nesting: Baby Clothes

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