I am incredibly fed up with how often I see people being referred to as “adopted sons” or “adopted daughters”. Every single time I read about someone’s “adopted” child, I cringe. Well, that’s not entirely true; whenever it occurs in an article that is in no way related to adoption and the fact that they were adopted has nothing at all to do with the story, I cringe. If it is adoption related and it makes sense that I know that a person was adopted; that’s ok.

Not too long ago I was pleased to read about Michelle Pfeiffer correcting writer Liz Smith when Smith referred to Pfeiffer’s daughter as her “adopted daughter” in an interview. Pfeiffer educated Smith by making it clear that she should be called simply her daughter, as her adopted state has nothing to do with her daughter-ness. I wish more adoptive parents would stand up for their children in this manner.

I was reading an article while on vacation last week about a soldier who had lost his life in Iraq. His parents are now doing charity work in Afghanistan in his memory. It was a good read until I came to the miniscule part in which the writer mentioned the couple’s other children: their “younger son” and their “adopted daughter”. Why on earth did that author feel it was necessary to have “adopted” before her name? And why would her parents even bring it up? I just felt sorry and sad for that woman and am still questioning the parents. How did they feel when they read the finished article and saw that their daughter had been differentiated from the rest of the family? Did they even notice?

I’m certainly not saying that anyone should be ashamed of adoption or choose to keep secrets from their children. I am pro-adoption and will share my views with anyone who wants to listen. What I am against is the singling out of children (and adults) due to their being adopted. As parents we need to stand up for our kids and correct anyone who tries to label them or single them out unnecessarily. It has never occurred to me to refer to Ella as my adopted daughter. She is simply my daughter, and the manner in which she came to me makes no difference in our bond and my love for her.

More Reading:
Not My Adopted Child - Just My Child
Differences of Love With Adopted and Biological Children


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