Most adoptive families are taught to begin telling their child about adoption before they are really able to understand the concept. Doing so will help you, the parent, become comfortable with adoption language and make it feel natural. Here are some tips about talking to your child about adoption.

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  Use books as a tool to open the lines of communication. Reading about other adopted children will get your child’s mind turning and can naturally lead to discussions about adoption and their adoption. If your child seems hesitant, you can always lead into the discussion by talking about the character in the book.
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  Make adoption conversations part of everyday life. Try not to have one or two big talks about adoption and not talk about it regularly. By talking about their adoption easily and readily, they will likely feel more comfortable to come forward with any questions that they may have. Starting small with “xxx reminds me of the restaurant we had lunch at the day we adopted you” can help make their adoption story part of your family’s regular dialogue.
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  When you child comes to you with questions and feelings about their adoption, help them to feel safe and not judged. If you are not an adoptee, don’t tell them that you understand what they are going through. Instead, lend an empathetic ear and let your child take the lead.
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  Above all, be honest. Your child’s history is theirs and they deserve to know it. Certainly, some stories need to be told only when the age is appropriate, but making up situations to paint a rosy picture will only lead to pain and distrust.
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  Use your home and your family as a model for the adoption language that you feel is appropriate. Teaching your child and entire family how to talk about adoption will let everyone know what is acceptable in your home. Using respectful terminology will only help your child feel safer when discussing their adoption.

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Related Links:
Hoping to Adopt a Sibling: Talking About Adoption
Book: Adoption is for Always
When You Were Born in Viet Nam - Book Review