One of the topics that is discussed often this time of year is how to adjust your holiday plans when you have just come home with your newly adopted child. Even my husband suggested I write a post about it since it’s likely to be on the minds of many people. See that picture on the right? I don’t know who that poor cutie is (I found it on Flickr,) but that’s what we’re trying to avoid ;)

Some people will travel cross country to Grandma’s, baby in tow, just like every other year and others will scale back almost completely and spend time at home. A great deal of what you decide to do is dependent on your child, their personality and how they’re adjusting and also how you are doing with this new role of parent. There are a few things to keep in mind when deciding how to spend your holiday:

You child may not be showing signs of insecurity, but may be experiencing such feelings. Even if they seem completely fine, give your plans a second thought and try and keep the festivities as low key as possible.

Strangers and new places can be scary for a newly adopted child. Just think of all they’ve been through since you met them and it’s easy to understand why they may become anxious in new places with unfamiliar places.

If you will be spending time with many people with whom your child is not familiar, keep your son or daughter close to you. It’s ok if you don’t want other people to hold, change, feed or comfort them. You’re the parent and you set the rules.

You may get flak from relatives who think you’re being overprotective. If this is their first experience with adoption, they simply don’t understand what it’s like to be an adoptive family. Stick to your guns and do what you feel is best for your child and your family.

It’s ok to change traditions to suit the needs of your new family. If you want to stay home and have a few people over to your house, go ahead and do it. It’s hard to break long standing traditions, but they may not work now that you’re working so hard on your relationship with your new child.

Keep it simple. Exorbitant amounts of brightly wrapped presents, loud electronic caroling toys, unfamiliar foods and people can all lead to a scared and cranky baby; which leads to a cranky mom and dad. It’s so tempting to want to go all out, but your new child is still getting used to their new life and they have no idea about presents and such. They’ll be happiest in their own comfortable environment surrounded by familiar objects and their parents who love them.


photo credit

More Reading:
Holiday Firsts
Holidays With a Toddler
Getting Through the Holidays as You Wait