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Thanks to Mary over at the Ethiopia Adoption Blog for starting this meme; I love these things!
Four things I thought about adoption when I was a child
- I thought I would like to adopt a child when I was older
- that adoptions were mainly secretive and the children often didn’t know they were adopted
- that most adopted kids were white
- I really didn’t know anything concrete about adoption and didn’t know anyone who was adopted growing up
Four things I’ve learned since then
- adoption is a natural, beautiful way to build a family
- how incredibly strongly I would feel about my daughter’s birth parents. I doubt I’ll ever be able to fully wrap my head around what they must have gone through and are still going through that brought my sweet girl to me
- the world of adoption is huge and there are many people out their without the childrens’ best interests in mind, but there are more who genuinely care and are doing good by all
Four silly things people have said to me about adoption
- “I could never do it.”
- “I don’t know how I could raise someone else’s child.”
- “It’s really expensive, isn’t it?”
- People often assume Ella is from China and tell me things like “Oh, they don’t like girls over there.”
Four things that are hard about adoption
- waiting to travel after you have been referred your child, seen their picture and already know that they are yours
- in the case of transracial families like mine, we are unable to blend in even if we wanted to. Our family will forever draw glances and questions because we don’t fit the “typical” family standard.
- thinking about the birth parents and children still in Viet Nam; many who will never be adopted
- living in a society that doesn’t always understand or accept your family
Four ways my adopted child has surprised me
- she loves me and I love her unconditionally
- she attached and bonded to both me and my husband very quickly
- she has shown me what I truly have to offer as a mom
- I had no idea it would be this much fun (I also had no idea that it would be so hard at times too!)
Four things I wish everyone knew about adoption
- the ability to love a child does not come from the fact that they are biological or adopted
- it is extremely important to research and work with scrupulous people and agencies
- adoption is not some terribly complicated, unattainable way to have a child. The paperwork isn’t that bad…the money will get figured out…it is possible.
- that a child’s pre-adoption story is private; parents should respect their child’s privacy and everyone else should keep their mouths shut.
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