While we were out of town last month I picked up an issue of Oprah’s “O” Magazine. I was looking for something light to pass the time as we traveled mile after mile on our journey. I did not expect to find a quote from Dr. Phil that I instantly knew was blog-worthy, but that is just what I found

Apparently Dr. Phil McGraw (author and talk show host of the daytime “Dr. Phil” show) writes a regular column in Oprah’s magazine where readers write in with questions and he answers them in a Dear Abby fashion. On his show, McGraw has done his best to become a straight talkin’, southern drawlin’ doctor who can fix marriage problems, cases of child abuse and dysfunctional families. In the “advice, etc.” column in the September 2007 issue of the magazine, he managed to put his foot squarely in his mouth and offend me as an adoptive parent, and I am sure, many others.

An adult adoptee wrote in for advice on dealing with her family. She grew up with siblings that were the biological children of her parents, and she never felt equal to them. Even as an adult with her own family she still feels like an outsider. She so mentioned that she attempted to reconnect with her birthmother, but a relationship never happened. She asked Dr. Phil how she could “find happiness and closure.”

Dr. Phil’s response shocked me. He wrote:

You obviously didn’t choose to be placed for adoption, and it’s not uncommon for parents to have a hard time forming the same bond with adopted children as they do with their biological children. That isn’t fair, but it’s reality.

Wow. I know many bloggers here at adoptionblogs who would care to differ, and many other parents of biological and adopted kids who would find great issue with his generalization. It was also an article in this same issue of “O” that prompted me to write this post. In the completely non-adoption related at all article mentioned, an adult family member is referred to as the parents’ “adopted daughter.” Two instances in one issue lead me to believe that the people over at “O” need some schooling on the subject of adoption!

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More Reading:
Differences of Love With Adopted or Biological Children

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