Completely in love one minute? Weepy the next? Then frustrated out of your mind before you can even realize why? You just may be one of the many, many adoptive parents adjusting to life at home with their new child. In Vietnamese adoptions, adoptive parents stay in Viet Nam for a period of approximately three weeks. That is certainly enough time to get used to a different way of life, and returning home can be starling and leave you feeling conflicted more often than not.

Most of our first days home are a complete blur to me. I definitely think that sleep deprivation and jet lag play a large part in those early day emotional roller coasters. When I think back I can remember moments, but it isn’t until a week or two after being home that I can clearly remember a full day spent with family or friends.

It is really easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty and inadequate for feeling stressed or sad. You’ve worked and waited so long for this child, and things were blissful in country. Why on Earth is everything so much harder now that you’re home? Well, first of all, it is completely normal and natural to be feeling conflicted as you get used to this huge life altering change: the addition of a new person to your family. The demands of life at home add to the stresses that are already being experienced.

I know that what works is time and patience, but those intangible things don’t seem very helpful when you’re first home and not sure what to do. Times like these are when having the support of other adoptive parents can be crucial. Whether they’re next door, a phone call away or online, reach out for support. Most parents who have had a lengthy in country stay will be able to commiserate with you and help you through your conflicting emotions. Most of all, you’ll know that you will get through this and you’re not the first person to feel confused by all the changes happening to and around you.

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More Reading:
Adoption Homecoming: When Reality Sets In
This Time Last Year: Homecoming!
Adoption Support