The topic of changing your adopted child’s name is a much talked about and at times heated discussion on adoption forums and groups. It’s an issue that will always be a hot topic and cause adoptive parents to second guess their instincts and question whether or not they are doing the best thing for their child.

I feel that it is a personal decision that certainly deserves a good amount of thought and consideration. In an older child adoption, the child may feel strongly attached to his name, or he may want a fresh start with a new name. I believe that the majority of adoptive parents do choose to change their child’s name, but we need to bear in mind that the majority of adoptions are of infants. Many feel that it is their right as parents to pass on a family name or choose their own name for their new child.

When I was pregnant with Cole, my husband and I had a list of girl names because we didn’t know the sex of the baby. When we started the adoption process and had requested a girl, none of those names worked anymore. We eventually came up with a very short list (and Ella wasn’t on it!)

We felt torn about the decision of whether or not to change our baby’s name when we got her. So we decided to hold off on any decision making until after we received her referral.

I can’t tell you exactly why we decided to name her our own name, but it just came down to feeling right. Her Vietnamese name (Cuc) is beautiful-it means chrysanthemum, and that is her first middle name. Her second middle name; Ruth, was my sweet Grammy’s middle name. Ella just came to me one day and I said “that’s it!” I shared with my husband and he whole heartedly agreed.

We kept her name a secret from all but my best friend, and it wasn’t revealed until after we had boarded the plane for Bangkok. Later that day that we left, my mom came to our house to take care of the cats and I had hung up the canvases I had painted that spelled out her name in her room. It was a wonderful surprise! We all thought we’d never be able to stop calling her Cuc, since that’s how we knew her for so long, but it hasn’t been an issue :) Even when someone does call her Cuc, we smile, because that’s her name too.