Birthdays seem to be a time to reflect and take some time to think about the year that has most recently passed. As I approach my last year in my twenties, I am so ridiculously grateful that I have happy memories of this past year to wax poetic on. This time last year I was only a few weeks away from traveling to Viet Nam and meeting my daughter for the first time. I was an anxious, excited, nervous, busy, emotional mess. Today I feel just as busy, but much happier, much more grounded and full of so much pride and love for this family that we’ve created.

I feel incredibly mushy and lovey-dovey when I think about how I get to celebrate this birthday with Ella. We’re also quickly approaching our first family day, so that just adds to the emotions! She gives me such purpose and makes me look forward to the years to come. There are so many times in my days that I shake my head and think about how this came to be; how this little girl came into my life. Is it possible to implode from the giddy love that I have for her? It’s just overwhelming.

I was never one to have a five year plan or a real secure grasp on what my future might hold, but I did have some basic ideas. I’ve since learned that plans don’t always hold up and life can take you down roads that you never expected to (or wanted to) travel. I had no idea that I would be living the life that I’m living and would go through the severe ups and downs that I have experienced over the past few years. Although, come to think of it, my parents tell me that I spoke of adopting a child when I was younger, so maybe I did have some idea about that.

This upcoming year holds so much promise and I have to tell you that I am so proud of myself for feeling this way; for having hope, for looking to the future. As terribly scary as this is for me, I am going to try to trust my instincts and go with it. Here’s *hoping* that this year is filled with as much learning, love and laughter as the last.
Happy almost birthday to me :)

More Reading:
A Viet Nam Adoptive Mom's Story -part 1
A Viet Nam Adoptive Mom's Story-part 2

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Photo © Rebecca Hess 2007