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As I was searching for some resources recently I was struck by something that appeared on my computer screen. I googled “vietnam for kids” and at the bottom of my results page I saw:
Vietnam Children at Amazon.com
I instantly tensed before I realized that it wasn’t an anti-adoption, how much did that baby cost situation. I’m sure that Amazon ads pop up with whatever it is you’re google-ing. But it made me realize how much on the defensive I am. There I was, sitting in my living room on my laptop in the middle of the night and I was feeling defensive. There was no one in my house that would say something derogatory or hurtful about adoption or my daughter, so I should have been relaxed. So then why did I react this way to a seemingly benign advertisement? Is it because I’m still a new adoptive parent? Will this defensiveness soften over time or will it just become such a part of me that I hardly notice it? Will it get even stronger?
I haven’t experienced any really rude comments yet. No one has asked me where I bought Ella from or what happened to her ‘real’ mom. But I have read so much and have heard from so many people who have experienced the harsh reality of dealing with the ignorant general public that I try to prepare myself for it. I’m not one for confrontation, which is why this makes me nervous. And that’s probably why I’m carrying around this defensiveness and why I instantly reacted to the Amazon ad. And just for the record, babies can’t be bought at Amazon.com!
