This time of year has brought about a lot of reflection for me. Last year we were in a complete new baby daze after coming home with Ella and a lot of it is a blur. This year we are in the process of our second adoption and I’ve been thinking about Ella’s birth parents and the parents of our soon to be child. There is a woman in Viet Nam who right now is carrying the child who will become a member of our family. Does she already know that she will not raise this child, or will it be a last minute kind of decision? Why is she unable to raise her child and does she wish that she could? Is she planning where she’ll leave her to be found or how she will relinquish her for adoption?

Things have calmed down a bit for me with all the holiday planning and shopping coming to an end, and I’ve finally had some time to let the thoughts just come. I still have some difficulty with thinking about Ella’s birthparents. I think too much and worry too much and care deeply for these people who I will likely never meet. I have come to live with so many unknowns in my life and am working on accepting them, but it’s not an easy task. And this is just me; I can only hope I can help Ella work through her feelings and confusion as she gets older.

There’s not much I can do to calm my thoughts and anxiety concerning my kids’ birth parents and their pasts except shower them with love, keep the lines of communication open and be thankful that we were brought together. I try to imagine what it must be like to be one of Ella’s birth parents and am unable to do so. I wind up just sending out (seemingly inadequate) wishes of peace, hoping that somehow they know that she is happy and loved and that they are not forgotten.

photo credit

More Reading:
An Adoptive Family Tree
Birth-First Parent Blog
Memories During the Holiday Season