We’re going through the steps in an adoption from Viet Nam, and now that you have traveled home, you’re onto the step of adjusting to life at home with your new child. It is a surreal and amazing experience to leave Viet Nam and step back into your life pre-child. Some family members and friends may expect you to be “back to normal” right away, but it will likely take a period of adjustment to get used to being a family in your home environment. Being in Viet Nam, with the house keeping, restaurants, laundry service and nothing to do but dote on your new cutie gets quiet addictive and it can be hard to get back into the swing of things at home.

My number one piece of advice is to plan for your return before you even leave. Make as many meals as can fit in your freezer (and the freezers of any close relatives, friends and neighbors.) Arrange your work schedule so you don’t have to immediately jump back into the daily grind at your job. Try to give yourselves at least a few days to decompress and adjust. You have all just been through a major, life changing event and coming home to find your old life waiting for you can be overwhelming.

It’s a great idea to accept offers of help. If someone wants to bring you a prepared meal or throw a load of laundry in for you, let them. If you don’t, a few months will go by and you’ll be kicking yourself for turning them down. Swallow as much of your pride as you can and accept the help you’re comfortable with.

Definitely take some time and think about how you want to handle attachment and bonding, especially when it comes to sharing your new family member with others at home. I’m comfortable with the school of thought that mom and dad are the only ones providing the basic care and attending to personal needs; such as diaper changes, feedings, baths, soothing minor injuries or crying spells, etc. We let family members hold and play with Ella, and do the very occasional diaper change, but my husband and I really tried to make sure that she knew we were her primary caregivers and she could count on us completely. This was a good fit for our family, and our relatives and friends had no problem respecting our wishes.

Shortly after you get home you will schedule your child’s first post placement medical exam (in the US,) and we’ll talk about that in the next post.


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More Reading:
Choosing a Viet Nam Adoption Agency
Deciding to Adopt from Viet Nam
Making the Decision to Adopt