Unless your family already consists of an adopted child (or children), they’ll probably be completely unaware (and possibly resistant) to ideas concerning adopted children and attachment. There are many schools of thought on this topic, but I definitely feel that the first few months home with a new child are extremely important in terms of their attaching to their new parents. Extended and immediate family members may not completely understand why newly adopted children may be treated differently than a biological child, so it is... more

There are plenty of magazine articles and blog posts about the adoptive parent – “real” parent issue. It is a genuine concern for many in the process that they aren’t sure if they will ever feel like their child’s real parent. Can they love a child not born to them? Will they feel like that child is really theirs despite different blood running through them? If they have biological children, will it feel the same? Of course this thought entered my mind, as did every fear and negative experience that could possibly happen.

Luckily, that fear has... more

Lately I have been giving a good deal of thought to Ella as a school aged child. As we prepare to move to a new town I have been researching school districts, and I’m pretty sure that is what has prompted these daydreams. I have been checking statistics to ensure that she is not the only Asian or only minority in her class once she gets to school and that we move to a culturally diverse area. Part of this is guilt related since we are moving from a wonderfully diverse area and I feel badly for removing her (at only one... more

Six months. We have been a family for longer, but home only six months. It seems unreal because it feels like Miss Ella has always been here. I remember the time without her, but she has changed our lives so drastically that I feel like she’s been home forever.

Our hotel room in Viet Nam was mostly comprised of our huge bed, so Ella spent most of her time on there. She would army crawl around, but we didn’t know if she could actually crawl or not, due to lack of floor time. Well, as soon as we got back home and entered... more

Choosing an agency to work with can be one of the hardest parts of the entire adoption process. As I have touched on before, it is extremely important to ensure that the agency you ultimately choose practices ethically. This means that children are legally relinquished or legitimately abandoned and no biological family members could be found; timelines are in order with the country’s procedures; fees paid by adoptive parents are in order with what the country specifies, and the agency properly documents all stages of the adoption process.

Here are some signs that your agency is an ethical one:

They must be licensed by the Vietnamese Government. Some agencies are “umbrellaing”... more

I’ll bet that many would expect the title of my post today to be “Life Without Cole,” but my world exists with him in it, whether he’s here in person or not. I have my life and my family because of him and he is always here with me as I survive each day. His spirit is one with mine, just as he is with his daddy.

Today is my son Cole’s second birthday. It has been two long and short years since we were able to see and hold our baby for the first and last time on this Earth. These years have been so remarkably... more

Ella and I took part in “Take Your Child to Work Day” yesterday. Actually, for my mom it was “Take Your Child and Grandchild to Work Day.” My mom is a school nurse at a lovely, small elementary school where literally everyone knows all about Ella and has been a huge support to my mom and us throughout our family building process. They had all seen tons of pictures, but yesterday was the first time that Ella got to meet everyone at the school. It was an awesome experience to be welcomed so warmly... more

It absolutely blows my mind that some families do not support their family member’s decision to adopt. They do not support a new child entering the family because that child will be different. The fact that they do not welcome a child; any child, into their family is sickening to me. It’s sickening because the reason they are most likely shunning the adoptive family is because they now include someone who has a different skin color, is a different race, comes from an unknown background, is disabled…sadly, the list could... more

As a scrapper, I had all these dreams about the intricately beautiful and detailed pages I would make for my daughter when she came home. That was before she was actually here and before I realized that I would be lucky to carve out ten minutes a week to work on a scrapbook layout. We have been home six months and I have only completed six or seven pages and have a photo box full of photos (and hundreds more that need to be ordered from snapfish!)

So I have realized two things: I need to find time to work on... more

Here is a picture of Miss Ella pointing to where she was born in Bac Giang, Viet Nam. We found this map in the Museum of Ethnology in Hanoi. One of the kids in our group is from an ethnic minority so his parents wanted to visit the museum to learn more about his background, and we wanted to check it out too. It was a wonderful museum; very quiet and well planned out. There were English translations on all of the displays so we really did learn quite a bit. One of the most interesting parts... more