The links that follow this post outline the steps in the Viet Nam adoption process up to this one; and this one is a BIG one! Getting your referral is an amazing, surreal experience that can have a variety of emotional impacts on one’s life.

Things have changed recently in Viet Nam adoptions and child-family matches are now being made by Vietnamese officials instead of the American adoption agencies. Once your paperwork has been processed and approved by the seemingly trillions of people who will pass it along, you will be matched with a child who fits the criteria of child that you have requested and been approved to adopt. Your adoption agency will be notified of the match and then you will get the call!

Some agencies give parents a heads up if they know a referral will be on its way soon. The only problem with that is the stopping of the heart every single time the phone rings for a week straight! The other side of the coin is that parents can be a little more prepared and ready, although there’s no real way to be truly prepared for such a long anticipated, life altering event.

You may get a phone call with the basic information and then have to wait a day or two for your child’s photo to be snail mailed to you. Hopefully your agency will email you right away with scans of photos and medical reports of your new child. When we received Ella’s referral I got the call and told my lovely friend at our adoption agency on the other end of the line that I was going to throw up! I maintained my composure and listened as she told me all about my little daughter and that she was emailing pictures as we spoke. Looking back, I don’t know how I did it, but I waited for my husband to get home from work before I opened that email! I wanted us to see her for the first time together, at the same time.

I know it sounds sappy, but it is a magical experience. It’s also excruciating and you’ll instantly know what all those other adoptive parents were talking about when they told you that the wait post-referral was a million times harder than the wait pre-referral.

If you want to have your child’s medical records reviewed by a doctor, now is the time to do it. Now is also the time to ask any questions you may have about the child you have been matched with. Your adoption agency will send you paperwork to complete that states that you officially accept your referral and your case will proceed. Next we’ll look at the wait between receiving and accepting your referral and traveling to adopt your child.

photo credit

More Reading:
Compiling Your Viet Nam Adoption Dossier
The USCIS Process for a Viet Nam Adoption
The Viet Nam Adoption Home Study
Choosing a Viet Nam Adoption Agency
Deciding to Adopt from Viet Nam
Making the Decision to Adopt