Getting Through the Holidays as You Wait

December 10th, 2007
Categories: Parent Support

Although the winter holiday season is advertised as a glorious, warm, family centered time of peace and love, it can be the exact opposite for many people. The holidays make the loss of a loved one more poignant, financial problems rear their ugly heads amidst the commercialism of the season, and those waiting to bring their child home may feel depressed and lonely, even if they’re surrounded by family and friends. Almost every adoptive family I know sets their hopes upon having their child home for the holidays. For some reason, bringing your new son or daughter home by December is huge to so many people. In many cases, parents have been waiting years for a family and now that they’re so close to having one… [more]

The Power of the Eye Crease

July 19th, 2007

suchin pak SuChin Pak was on an episode of the Oprah show awhile back that was titled “Children Ashamed of the Way They Look.” The episode was about how people from different racial groups do not see themselves as beautiful because they do not look like the blonde haired, blue eyed “All-American.” Pak is an MTV host and correspondent who is Korean. She told Oprah about the huge importance that the eye crease (a fold of eyelid skin that makes the eye look larger) plays in the Asian perception of beauty. She told Oprah and her audience that surgery to get an eye crease is the number one plastic surgery in Asia. I was very intrigued and interested in hearing what she had… [more]

Entrepreneur Honors for a Vietnamese-American Woman

June 28th, 2007 Jacquelyn Tran has recently had two entrepreneurial honors bestowed upon her: the Enst and Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award and Inc Magazine named her one of the ‘Hottest Entrepreneurs Under 30.” These accolades are in addition to being named one of 2006’s most successful businesspeople under 30 by Inc and OC Metro magazines. 30 year old Tran is the president of Perfume Bay, which is an extremely successful internet based perfume business. She grew up in a family involved in the perfume industry and decided in college that the internet was the way to truly be successful in the global marketplace. She launched Perfume Bay on her own and has been able to watch it grow and succeed over the past few years… [more]

Saying Too Much

June 6th, 2007 Lately I have encountered a few situations that could have been made infinitely better if only I had practiced some discretion. I too often say too much, offer unasked for information and find myself in a conversation that I never really wanted to be in in the first place. The most common question that I get asked about adoption is in reference to the cost. ‘Was it really expensive?’ or ‘It costs a lot, right?’ are the two main ones. Instead of going into why adoptions cost money and how the money is spent, I should learn to simply answer with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If the questioning party is truly interested in adoption, the ball would now be in their court to return… [more]

How To Connect With Other Adoptive Families

June 5th, 2007
Categories: Parent Support Having the support of other adoptive families is hugely important during all stages of the adoption process. During the wait for referral and travel, it is sanity saving to know others who have been in your shoes and can offer advice and support during your wait. Once you’re home, it is important for you and your child to know other families like yours. Not only will it help your child, it will help you as the parent to have someone who ‘gets it’ to talk to. Here are some ideas about finding other adoptive families to connect with:

  • Join your local Families With Children from Viet Nam. If there isn’t one in your area, start one up! This is the

Anti Racist Parent Blog

May 20th, 2007

anti racist parent banner If you haven’t been over to the Anti Racist Parent blog yet, you really need to check it out. I learned about it recently and am inspired every time I read something new there. It is geared specifically towards parents who want to raise their children with an anti racist point of view. Transracial adoptive parents are very much included and many topics that appeal to us are covered. The columnists at this blog provide such thought provoking ideas and information that you’ll be hard pressed to leave the site without something new to ponder. Perhaps you share their opinions, perhaps you disagree, and Anti Racist Parent encourages us all to comment on their work to share our voices. Next… [more]

Love Thursday: Cupcakes

May 17th, 2007

copyright 2007 rebecca hess For today’s Love Thursday post, cupcakes represent the amazing support system that my family is lucky enough to have. Those cupcakes mark the culmination of the many exhausting hours of hard work that led up to Miss Ella’s first birthday party that we threw for her this past weekend. There is no way I would have been able to pull it all off if it wasn’t for the family members and friends that pitched in. The day before the party my house was full of Ella’s female relatives. Both grandmas, a great grandma and an aunt took off work unasked and made time to come and help get ready. It was amazing to have us all under the same roof… [more]

Adoptive Parent Fears: I won’t feel like a “real” mom

May 10th, 2007

hug There are plenty of magazine articles and blog posts about the adoptive parent – “real” parent issue. It is a genuine concern for many in the process that they aren’t sure if they will ever feel like their child’s real parent. Can they love a child not born to them? Will they feel like that child is really theirs despite different blood running through them? If they have biological children, will it feel the same? Of course this thought entered my mind, as did every fear and negative experience that could possibly happen. Luckily, that fear has been shattered and obliterated. Now that Ella has been home for over six months and I have had some time to let this parenting thing sink in… [more]

When Your Family Won’t Accept Your Child

April 25th, 2007

disowned adoption vietnam family It absolutely blows my mind that some families do not support their family member’s decision to adopt. They do not support a new child entering the family because that child will be different. The fact that they do not welcome a child; any child, into their family is sickening to me. It’s sickening because the reason they are most likely shunning the adoptive family is because they now include someone who has a different skin color, is a different race, comes from an unknown background, is disabled…sadly, the list could go on and on. I personally have friends and acquaintances whose families decided to disown them or their new child due to their new status as an adoptive family. I have… [more]

Adoption Support

April 22nd, 2007

support group Belonging to a group of people that you have something in common with is incredibly powerful. In a group you will most likely feel less alone, more understood and have more confidence in your decisions. This is especially true when it comes to adoption related support and social groups. Adopting can be a scary, stressful experience and no one else but other adoptive parents can truly understand what it is like. We are still the minority in the parenting world and need to connect with and support each other. Making the decision to adopt, surviving the wait, traveling overseas and finally parenting all seem to be a little easier to handle when you know that you are not alone and your… [more]