During our home study update visit a few weeks ago, our social worker touched on a few subjects that continue to stand out in my mind. I respect the fact that she keeps current on adoption issues; attending conferences, classes and seminars, reading new material and speaking with all involved in adoption. So when she talks about adoption related issues, I listen. One of the points that she made was about the importance of listening to adoptees. She was sharing her excitement over the advantage that... more

Although the winter holiday season is advertised as a glorious, warm, family centered time of peace and love, it can be the exact opposite for many people. The holidays make the loss of a loved one more poignant, financial problems rear their ugly heads amidst the commercialism of the season, and those waiting to bring their child home may feel depressed and lonely, even if they’re surrounded by family and friends.

Almost every adoptive family I know sets their hopes upon having their child home for the holidays. For some reason, bringing your new son or daughter home by December... more

While walking through the mall recently a pair of women walked past my family and gasped loudly “Oh, how cute!” I smiled in their direction, then asked my husband, “They meant Ella, right?” There were no puppies or kittens around, so I realized that the compliment was directed towards my daughter. She gets this kind of attention ALL the time, and it makes me wonder if and when this unsolicited attention is going to grate on her.

Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s the most beautiful girl on the planet and deserves to be adored. But I have read many accounts of Asian... more

SuChin Pak was on an episode of the Oprah show awhile back that was titled “Children Ashamed of the Way They Look.” The episode was about how people from different racial groups do not see themselves as beautiful because they do not look like the blonde haired, blue eyed “All-American.” Pak is an MTV host and correspondent who is Korean.

She told Oprah about the huge importance that the eye crease (a fold of eyelid skin that makes the eye look larger) plays... more

Jacquelyn Tran has recently had two entrepreneurial honors bestowed upon her: the Enst and Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award and Inc Magazine named her one of the ‘Hottest Entrepreneurs Under 30.” These accolades are in addition to being named one of 2006’s most successful businesspeople under 30 by Inc and OC Metro magazines.

30 year old Tran is the president of Perfume Bay, which is an extremely successful internet based perfume business. She grew up in a family involved... more

Most adoptive families are taught to begin telling their child about adoption before they are really able to understand the concept. Doing so will help you, the parent, become comfortable with adoption language and make it feel natural. Here are some tips about talking to your child about adoption.

Use books as a tool to open the lines of communication. Reading about other adopted children will get your child’s mind turning and can naturally lead to discussions about adoption and... more

Lately I have encountered a few situations that could have been made infinitely better if only I had practiced some discretion. I too often say too much, offer unasked for information and find myself in a conversation that I never really wanted to be in in the first place.

The most common question that I get asked about adoption is in reference to the cost. ‘Was it really expensive?’ or ‘It costs a lot, right?’ are the two main ones. Instead of going into why adoptions cost money and how... more

Having the support of other adoptive families is hugely important during all stages of the adoption process. During the wait for referral and travel, it is sanity saving to know others who have been in your shoes and can offer advice and support during your wait. Once you’re home, it is important for you and your child to know other families like yours. Not only will it help your child, it will help you as the parent to have someone who ‘gets it’ to talk to. Here are some ideas about finding... more

I have written in other posts about the importance of keeping your child’s story private, and wanted to offer some tips about how to do just that. When we were first learning about adoption, my husband and I had never given a second thought to keeping our daughter’s story private. It just wasn’t something that had occurred to us. Luckily, we were presented with the following scenario at our home study class:

Say you know that your child’s birth mother was a teenage drug and alcohol addict, and you... more

When a woman gives birth to a baby, she often will remark that she was able to forget the pain of pregnancy and labor as soon as she saw her baby’s face. Many say that this is how women go on to birth more than one child. For us, it’s different, but similar at the same time.

Our first days in Viet Nam with Ella, and even more so, the first weeks at home, seem surreal. I’m not quite sure how we got through it, but I think a large part was not being completely aware of how hard it was at the time. The adjustment to... more