This week I’ve been writing about the realities that many adoptive parents face after returning home with their new little one. For my family, the calm ease of Viet Nam was a complete contrast to our life once we got home. Once we got back to the daily grind (but now with an infant!) I was shocked at how difficult it was to transition into life as a family of three at home.

Through my own experience and talking to other adoptive families, I have learned that being prepared is the number one tip when it comes to making life a little easier after you come home with your child. Getting your home and home life in as much order as possible before coming home will help you ease into family... more

Completely in love one minute? Weepy the next? Then frustrated out of your mind before you can even realize why? You just may be one of the many, many adoptive parents adjusting to life at home with their new child. In Vietnamese adoptions, adoptive parents stay in Viet Nam for a period of approximately three weeks. That is certainly enough time to get used to a different way of life, and returning home can be starling and leave you feeling conflicted more often than not.

Most of our first days home are a complete blur to me. I definitely think that sleep deprivation and jet... more

Coming home after spending multiple weeks in Viet Nam can be difficult. Of course, it is a huge relief to finally be home and able to officially start your new life as a family, but it can be really stressful too. In Viet Nam we didn’t have to cook, clean, drive, work or do laundry. We had practically unlimited time to figure out this parenting thing and do nothing but spend time with one another. Within a day or two of being home, the hugeness of being a parent really hit me and it took months for me to figure out a good groove for all of us to function in.

I was completely shocked... more

Ella’s Re-Adoption Day was yesterday! It was relatively quick and easy, which surprised us. We decided against hiring an adoption attorney and I did all the paperwork myself; I figured that after compiling a dossier I could do anything! It was a wise decision because our documents were flawless and the meeting with the judge went smoothly; we certainly did not need a lawyer there to represent us.

I didn’t know what to expect going in, so I was pleasantly surprised at how it all was handled. My county must set aside... more

Many of us can credit our companion animals with helping us get through tough times. They’re likely used to being doted on and can be quite surprised when all that changes with the addition of a child into the mix of your household. In cases of international adoption, children often come home mobile or very close to mobile, so your cats and dogs won't get much quiet, still time to get to know to them. If your family pre-child was made up of you and furry, spoiled children; this new creature tearing... more

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how I feel about the holiday that is Birth Mother’s Day. The Saturday before Mother’s Day is set aside to celebrate birth moms each year. When I first head of Birth Mother’s Day I thought it was a great idea…now I’m not so sure. I have done some digging and found birth moms who whole heartedly support and some who vehemently resent the idea of Birth Mother’s Day. The general public may not have ever heard of this day, but it seems to becoming more common and well known within the adoptive community.

I... more

Six months. We have been a family for longer, but home only six months. It seems unreal because it feels like Miss Ella has always been here. I remember the time without her, but she has changed our lives so drastically that I feel like she’s been home forever.

Our hotel room in Viet Nam was mostly comprised of our huge bed, so Ella spent most of her time on there. She would army crawl around, but we didn’t know if she could actually crawl or not, due to lack of floor time. Well, as soon as we got back home and entered... more

Belonging to a group of people that you have something in common with is incredibly powerful. In a group you will most likely feel less alone, more understood and have more confidence in your decisions. This is especially true when it comes to adoption related support and social groups.

Adopting can be a scary, stressful experience and no one else but other adoptive parents can truly understand what it is like. We are still the minority in the parenting world and need to connect with and support each other. Making the decision... more

We recently received a request to send pictures to Viet Nam. We didn’t know that we should have sent them in along with our post placement report, so our agency director asked us to send them in to accompany the report. I have about a trillion pictures of Ella and of us as a family to choose from, but I wanted to choose pictures that best illustrated her life here with us.

I chose pictures that spanned the past few months, but most were from recent holidays and events. They will see her enjoying Christmas, Easter... more

I came across an article recently that stated that the Board of Supervisors in Orange County, California is considering starting a Vietnamese language center in their county. There are other centers like this; that teach language and culture, throughout southern California, but none that I know of in my area of the East Coast.

Spreading cultural awareness and allowing people to immerse themselves in their birth cultures is a wonderful thing, and I’m jealous of the people who get to take advantage of them. My first thought after reading the article was that I wished we had something like this for Ella to experience.... more