I’m still trying to wrap my head around how I feel about the holiday that is Birth Mother’s Day. The Saturday before Mother’s Day is set aside to celebrate birth moms each year. When I first head of Birth Mother’s Day I thought it was a great idea…now I’m not so sure. I have done some digging and found birth moms who whole heartedly support and some who vehemently resent the idea of Birth Mother’s Day. The general public may not have ever heard of this day, but it seems to becoming more common and well known within the adoptive community.

I... more

Six months. We have been a family for longer, but home only six months. It seems unreal because it feels like Miss Ella has always been here. I remember the time without her, but she has changed our lives so drastically that I feel like she’s been home forever.

Our hotel room in Viet Nam was mostly comprised of our huge bed, so Ella spent most of her time on there. She would army crawl around, but we didn’t know if she could actually crawl or not, due to lack of floor time. Well, as soon as we got back home and entered... more

Choosing an agency to work with can be one of the hardest parts of the entire adoption process. As I have touched on before, it is extremely important to ensure that the agency you ultimately choose practices ethically. This means that children are legally relinquished or legitimately abandoned and no biological family members could be found; timelines are in order with the country’s procedures; fees paid by adoptive parents are in order with what the country specifies, and the agency properly documents all stages of the adoption process.

Here are some signs that your agency is an ethical one:

They must be licensed by the Vietnamese Government. Some agencies are “umbrellaing”... more

Here is a picture of Miss Ella pointing to where she was born in Bac Giang, Viet Nam. We found this map in the Museum of Ethnology in Hanoi. One of the kids in our group is from an ethnic minority so his parents wanted to visit the museum to learn more about his background, and we wanted to check it out too. It was a wonderful museum; very quiet and well planned out. There were English translations on all of the displays so we really did learn quite a bit. One of the most interesting parts... more

Belonging to a group of people that you have something in common with is incredibly powerful. In a group you will most likely feel less alone, more understood and have more confidence in your decisions. This is especially true when it comes to adoption related support and social groups.

Adopting can be a scary, stressful experience and no one else but other adoptive parents can truly understand what it is like. We are still the minority in the parenting world and need to connect with and support each other. Making the decision... more

We recently received a request to send pictures to Viet Nam. We didn’t know that we should have sent them in along with our post placement report, so our agency director asked us to send them in to accompany the report. I have about a trillion pictures of Ella and of us as a family to choose from, but I wanted to choose pictures that best illustrated her life here with us.

I chose pictures that spanned the past few months, but most were from recent holidays and events. They will see her enjoying Christmas, Easter... more

I came across an article recently that stated that the Board of Supervisors in Orange County, California is considering starting a Vietnamese language center in their county. There are other centers like this; that teach language and culture, throughout southern California, but none that I know of in my area of the East Coast.

Spreading cultural awareness and allowing people to immerse themselves in their birth cultures is a wonderful thing, and I’m jealous of the people who get to take advantage of them. My first thought after reading the article was that I wished we had something like this for Ella to experience.... more

Traveling to adopt your child can be an extremely emotional and stressful experience. I found that the preparations for travel were actually more stressful than the travel itself. The lists and planning and packing and repacking can become overwhelming. Here are some packing tips that I would recommend when traveling to Viet Nam:

Carry your prescriptions, money and documents on you at all times. It sounds like common sense, but the advice bears repeating. Be sure to carry these important and irreplaceable items with... more

One of the most common preconceived notions about adoption is that it is wildly expensive. The response I got most often from people finding out about our adoption plans was “Wow-that’s really expensive right? I could never afford it.” I certainly would not call the adoption process cheap, but I would call it doable. We are certainly not wealthy, but we found ways to be able to achieve our dream of adopting. I realize that everyone’s situation is different, but I hope some of what worked for us will help someone else.

The very first step... more

Questions to ask your pediatrician

From the Post Adoption Learning Center:

Questions that you should ask of the office staff:

1) How long do patients usually wait to see the doctor? 2) What are the office hours? 3) How does the office handle routine questions? 4) How does the office handle emergency calls and after hour calls? 5) Does the office have... more